God, Mom, Alzheimer's, and Me ©

Introduction 

I’d been worried about Mother for quite some time. 

Perhaps it was the day she called me because she couldn’t put the batteries into the T.V. remote. 

Or maybe it was the time she had a flat tire on the highway and was unable to use her cell phone to call for help, even though I had taped explicit instructions onto the dashboard of her car. 

And then there were the repetitive phrases.  She’d get stuck on one adjective or phrase and use it to the exclusion of all other words.  For some reason, one of her pet phrases was, and remains, “That’ll be a plus.”  I remember one day when she was justifiably miffed at me for having been rude to her, I said, “I’m going home now, Mom.”

“That’ll be a plus,” she said sincerely. 

These behaviors were uncharacteristic.   My mother had always been self-sufficient; she was a kind and capable Christian lady who led Bible studies and taught Sunday school.  She was a wordsmith, never without an open journal in her lap and pen in hand.  She continued to fill journal pages with her thoughts and prayers, but I noticed that she was struggling more to think of words for commonplace objects.  The changes were gradual and I attributed them to the natural aging process.

Finally, there came a late winter afternoon when Mother was telling a story about the woodlot on her father’s farm, and she could not think of the word, “stump.”

“You know,” she said, “…the thing that’s left after they chop down the tree.” 

I had suppressed my worry for months, and for some reason this relatively minor memory glitch was the catalyst that brought my fears into sharp focus.  Time stopped, my world shifted, and I knew with certainty that something was very wrong.  I made a doctor’s appointment and spent a few days researching all possible causes for Mom’s symptoms of dementia.  Perhaps she had suffered mini strokes, maybe her nutrition was inadequate, or she might be suffering from depression.  “Anything but Alzheimer’s,” I thought.  I’d always harbored a kind of terror at the thought of the helplessness and hopelessness I associated with this disease.  I took my mother to the doctor and after extensive tests we received her diagnosis: dementia of the Alzheimer type. 

The devotions in this book came from God’s counsel to me as I made the transition from the role of being my mother’s beloved daughter to that of her beloved caretaker. The Lord helped me with every stage of this journey: with the anger, the sense of abandonment, the loneliness, grief, and fear.  I felt like an orphan, but He said, “I will never leave you or forsake you,” (Joshua 1:5).  I had never truly accepted or dealt with the certainty of physical death, my own or that of someone I love.  God said, “Even though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you need fear no evil, for I am with you, (Psalm 23, paraphrased).” 

We have found to our blessing that God’s grace truly is sufficient for every need.  If someone you love suffers from dementia, these writings are dedicated to you with love and a prayer that you will be encouraged and blessed.  Because of its wide scope of grief, joy, laughter, and tears, I recommend reading this book as it was written, one entry a day in the form of a devotion.  My mother and I offer to you these vignettes from our lives with a prayer that you will share the encouragement and hope that we have received from our blessed Lord.    

For more excerpts from My Mom Has Alzheimer's: Inspiration and Help for Caregivers, click here: